SlothxKuriKara

So yeah....all that fun stuff that makes up life..... Why can't things be easy like they used to be? Why can't my friends understand that while I'm grateful they care, and I want them to be there for me.... I also want them all to back off and let me run my life even if that means I run myself into the ground, crash and burn, and wind up back with my parents, broken and alone.

The guy I'm in love with....we had some issues and we're working them out. I have a lot of friends that feel that the issues we've ignored for so long....should mean that we break up and I return to Minnesota. That I return to THEM. That's not what I want, though. I want to make my own decisions. I want to feel happy about myself, not broken and miserable.

Is it wrong that I want to make my international relationship work? Is it wrong that I'm finally starting to try to figure out the laws on residency so I can figure out if I can share an apartment with my Canadian boyfriend but work on the US side of the border?

It's painful right now...to know that so many of my friends seem more concerned about me returning to the midwest than about my happiness....

So.... I've had plenty of time to think about things that have gone on in the past year.... I don't regret moving out here...I've managed to get a lot accomplished in the way of paying my school loans. I'm going to be starting an online class with a friend...she's helping me with Microsoft Excel. I'm going to be able to see my boyfriend for an entire week over new years!

I haven't seen Josh since June when I left after Anime North...and now seeing him for new years...it's wonderful! I'm so excited!

The friend I lost early this year? I've nearly forgotten about it but at work...they ask sometimes if ::ToxikCloud has contacted me. I could care less if I ever hear from her again to be honest. I believe i still deserve an apology for the way she treated me at the end.... Leading me on to believe things were okay?

Though I admit, I should have realized that she had too many problems for me or my roommate to help with. I should have done more to convince her to go to a therapy program. I think it would have helped her greatly. But it comes down to that she left...and was very immature about it. She gave no notice that she was not returning, she caused me a lot of grief at my workplace where I had gotten her a job because she didn't give notice...or call them to say she wasn't returning. No, what did she do? She left it to me to explain to the managers that she wasn't returning. She never paid me back for the cell phone I gave her. That was part of the deal. She got a job, she paid for her half of the cell bill. Now that number is suspended and I should have just said it was stolen. Harsh? Oh well.

I just need to concentrate on the good things. Unfortunately that's hard when I have no health insurance, no dental insurance, no vision insurance. I managed to get a new pair of glasses though, with help from my roommate! As well as my divers' license too!

I can't wait for Anime Detour, I could care less if I see ::ToxikCloud there, but if I do meet her there, I won't confront her. I intend to pretend she doesn't exist. I can't wait to see my mom and dad. It'll have been a year since I saw them and nearly a year and  a half since I was able to see my kitty. I'm flying this time, as I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm eager to hold my kitty and to kiss her and smother her with as much love and affection as possible... I'll be cosplaying as Oz Vessalius as well as Lenalee Lee (third uniform) and probably Maka from Soul Eater as well.